Goodbye...

Am I wrong? I do not know. I know happiness, finally, is unreal thing. That is why there is heaven where humans can find happiness. I know that we should learn how to forgive...But how many times can I forgive? How many hurts should I suffer before I can give up? I do not know.

I want some peace.

...

13/11/2010

You ask me if I am fine. You ask me if I am angry.
"no".
And you just ignore me as nothing happens.
you are not sensitive or you are that type?

You enjoy your life there. I suffer my anger here.

I wish I could be like you. Nothing and noone can make me sad. Even if they are sad, I simply dont care.

I really wish.

Grow up!

everyone has their own way to succeed and reach happiness...I am just a small bird and I want to fly freely in the sky. I will try my best, to perfect myself...Thats enough for me. I need inspiration but the pressure...I will run my life with my own speed...just my own speed...this is my life...And thats the only thing I can do for my life, myself...I will try my best and I know that I am not too far behind others...why do I have to look at others and try to keep pace of them? Is it my real I? is it my real life? Is it my real purpose in life? I dont want to think too much. Just try my best...Everyday learn something new .....and in fact, i shouldnt think too much...

Neutral points

from now on, i decide to know where the limit is and where i should to involve in...I love my friends and thats why I become like I am now...But it is tired...And "love is blind" anyway...just let them live and love...let them grow up...there is no reason for me to worry for them too much. I did love and I am still fine...I will be with them...but i should keep my neutral points...And I should give them guides but let them free to choose...I shouldnt involve much in their decisions...and in fact, I couldnt also...So, why do I have to feel irritated when they dont follow me? Why am I angry with them? and tired for them...

just be good friends and let them live their lives.

To my dear kids

This is a difficult time for papa and mama. When mama tried to support our poor papa, mama suddenly think about you, my dear kids. When you love someone so much, you always pray there are never something bad happening to them. You always want to protect them from harms. Mama love you so much. And mama never you want to fall down, get hurt or sad. Mama try mama's best to keep you in my arms and just allow you to run around my safe circle.and mama try to force you to do what is good...just for you. When you are a kid, mama force you to sleep early, force you to eat more vegetable, advice you to play with this one and shouldnt play with that one. Mama dont allow you to go near the river, near the fire or knife....When you grow up, when you love someone, mama try to convince you that girl is not suitable for you, she may let you down...Why do mama do it? because mama love you so much. But. mama just forget 1 thing...That is, you are my kids and because you are my kids, i have to trust you. I have to trust you like your grandfa used to do it with mum and dad. Now, mama can understand how hard and difficult it is... to see you fall down and cry, to see your blood when the knife cuts your thin soft skin...but, you are my kids. You will know what is good for you. And after all these, you will grow up, be stronger and stretch your wings wide open in the blue sky...Fly.

So today, mama will trust your poor papa- a pure trust like your granfa's one. My dear, you can do it. You surely can do it because simply you are my darling, you are the only one in the world of millions of people who I love and love me.

You can do it and We can do it.

Life is not a fairy tale. No, it is not because there cant be happiness without any effort. So now, my darling , we will together do it. We will swim until we die instead of dying because of not swimming.

And....I love you, my stupid papa

i know you want to show that you are not a loser and you are an open-minded one with a generous heart. But if you say the beautiful words but its useless, generous behavior but unreasonable, are you a winner?

There are 2 types of losers
1. they know they lose and accept it.
and the others try to show off that they are not. They are smart enough not to make things bigger because then this will oppose them...So they try to do it as a unlucky and miserable one...

Just do it what you like.
I just simply do not care